Category Archives: Discovery

I am rebuilding. Restructuring. Rediscovering who I am without the the perpetual influence of the vampires and other life suckers who have permeated my life. I no longer am subject to the physical, emotional and sexual abuse of those who would claim I drove them to act in such horrific and inhumane ways. I am free of the physical bonds they chained and locked around me, and now must fight my way past the refuse left by the emotional and psychological Hell fire they rained on me.
I am now in the process of reclaiming myself, and finding out who I truly am. This is a personal blog of struggle, pain, tears, negatives, sufferings and what I truly hope to be moments of complete and utter awe as I discover and convince myself that I am worthy of walking this Earth as a whole person, with a right to dreams, happiness and true love. I don’t claim to have the answers, or know how it will happen. I only know that for me, writing helps me think. And I’ve learned that sharing my writing helps me believe that I am not the mistake, the temptation, the anchor, the grotesque magnet of evil that the abusers in my life have led me to believe.

Oath Keeper

At 19 years old, I heard the call of MY country and proudly took the oath of enlistment. I served proudly and when it was time to accept my discharge papers, I did so naively and with trepidation. I remember … Continue reading

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FREE to just BE

Today marks SEVEN Years since the judge signed my Dissolution of Marriage Orders. Seven years since I became the sole, physical and legal guardian of my daughter with all the rights and responsibilities thereof. Seven years since the meaning of … Continue reading

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Becoming Visible

Sunday morning, I was browsing through The Denver Post, looking for sales and coupons when I came across an editorial that grabbed me and didn’t let go. “Trying to Live, Trying to Learn.” I read it with deep emotion and … Continue reading

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What’s Next For Me?

I did it! I graduated! With Honors, even. I earned my Bachelor’s of Science in Aerospace Operations and Space Commercialization with a Minor in Mechanical Engineering. (It was supposed to be a simple degree in Aerospace Systems Engineering. The classes … Continue reading

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I may be crazy

Today, migraine and all, I decided to attend the I-News “Losing Ground” panel discussion at my school, Metropolitan State University of Denver, between classes. (Yes, I’m one of the odd people who is still technically functional while suffering a migraine. … Continue reading

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Mistaken for a “Man-Hater”

Once again, I have been labeled a “man-hater” and now some people seem to think that I am raising my young daughter to hate men as well. NEITHER BELIEF IS TRUE! First, I do love MEN. I thoroughly dislike BOYS. … Continue reading

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It’s no joke

Today’s weekly grocery shopping began relatively normal. Surprisingly we scored a parking space near the store and successfully dodged saying “No, thank you” to the Cub Scouts selling popcorn. We even got a clean cart without cuckoo wheels. As always, … Continue reading

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A Woman Should NEVER Beg

Once again I find myself more than willing to offer comfort to a friend in need. One friend’s new boyfriend has left her wondering what she did wrong and why he won’t even give her the courtesy of a real … Continue reading

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I Don’t need a man

Lately, it seems more and more people in my world feel I “need” a man in my life. I’ve begun to wonder if maybe my friends are beginning to feel pity for my single life. I don’t know why, and … Continue reading

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A Clothesline story

Okay, so I’m not going to go into all the horror and sad details that people always want to hear but at the same time don’t want to know. Suffice it to say, I’ve created my shirt for The Clothesline … Continue reading

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