Ugh. Suddenly feeling like a bad mom for no real good reason. Just listening to stories and seeing happy travel pictures of people I know, that have been able to take their kids places like Disney World, Paris and even the zoo. Granted they are all married and have had continuous and gainful employment since having said kid. It would make sense they could and should show their child the world. Since having my daughter, I have been divorced, moved across the country and suffered from chronic unemployment surviving on a next to nothing income.
Some would say it’s my fault and I didn’t try hard enough either to stay married, find a job, or any number of other “my fault” scenarios. Others would say I should quit school because a degree won’t help anyway. Accept my lot in life and quit trying to aspire for more. It’s only making things harder. Still even more would let her father off the hook for his parental responsibility and berate me for being a single mother who needs assistance to make the day-to-day.
It truly sucks scraping by on a prayer every month but I’m trying to believe I’m doing the right thing. I won’t fault families who can show their children all the world has to offer. I’m not jealous of families who take trips and visit zoos, museums and shows. I am striving to be the type of family that can show my daughter all the wonders of the world her mind can digest. I will continue to stay the course, finish the degree, seek continuous and gainful employment and housing that is more permanent. In my soul, I know it is the right thing to do for my daughter.
No, we don’t take trips. The zoo and museums are rare events and the one show we saw was an amazing and highly appreciated gift. My daughter knows she’s loved and that mommy is a hard worker. We laugh and giggle, assemble puzzles and Lego’s, pick flowers, share princess tea in her garden and everyday we sit down to eat and talk about our day. These things remind me that I am not a bad mom.
Some days are just harder than others.
Through the Eyes of an Island Girl 
There are so many opportunities to compare ourselves to someone doing it better. I admire single moms like you that make it work. It must be incredibly difficult at times. I say, Kudos to you!!
Mahalo. Most days I just do what I do and make sure my daughter knows she’s loved and has a devoted mom. But there will always be those days that I find myself in comparison mode. I think it’s natural and in a way it helps keep me driven to keep going forward. I won’t let the comparison rule me though any more than I will ignore that it is a real thing. Many will say “Don’t worry about what other’s think. Just focus on you.” But my experience is, that is not a real answer. We all compare ourselves with others. It’s human nature. For me the trick is recognizing it channeling it in a healthy manner. I don’t let it discourage me, and I don’t let it define me. But I will at least recognize that some days are just going to be harder. But when it comes down to it, I know I’m a good mom. My daughter’s constant laugh and smile remind me of it every day. As a single mom, it is a heartwarming to know that I am doing right by her.
Hey your articles strike a deep cord in my soul. I hear you in the dead silence of my heart, of my experiences, desires and aspirations. I am listening with the ears of a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister and fellow writer. And I cannot but wish you the very best. May the very best come your way because it definitely will, sooner than later.
Isabella
Mahalo for the kind words. I am still working hard but I am feeling things will change in the future. The future feels closer everyday.