Stuck. Jammed. Frozen. Clogged. So many words in my head needing to be released that I now have a blockage. I can’t clear the pipe. I think I need a plumber’s snake. Could it possibly be the problem is I’m trying to write too many things at once? 400 words for this, 500 words for that, 1000 words for something else, 50,000 words to win, not to mention the “ghost writing” I’m trying to do for someone’s auto-biography. Oh, and the “Alphabet” collage I’m supposed to be putting together for my daughter to take to school on Monday which I have not even begun.
Argh! So many things to write. So many words needed in original configurations. Granted, I set myself up for this. I agreed to everything. I didn’t see a problem with it. I need money for school, so I need to complete scholarship essays. Logical. I’m thinking it would be great to supplement my retirement income in 40 years with some freelance writing, so I have started trying to get my name in print more often. Logical. I’m the writer in the circle, so I agreed to help write an auto-biography of an amazing story that needs to be told. Helpful. I also decided, I really wanted to write my own novel, and joined in this years National Novel Writing Month event. Maybe I’m not quite ready for that. The only thing not required to be done in the next few days or weeks, is the auto-biography, but I feel pressure to get that going because, like I said… the story needs to be told.
So here I am. Behind in all my writing. Blocked. Unable to get an idea on paper. I have so many images and phrases swirling around in my head. I feel like a huge, swollen reservoir in a rain storm ready to burst the dam downriver and flood the sleepy town. I need to release the pressure and let the words flow. The stories are there. I have vision. I can see it coming together. Circumstances and memories bounce off each other in my head. Sometimes they meld and make for a great adventure to add to my novel. Sometimes they give me ideas on how to write the auto-biography. I even get good ideas on how to make my scholarships essays and articles make the soul cry or laugh. I know how everything should flow and end but yet, I’m still BLOCKED! So frustrating.
Right now, my scholarship applications are unfeeling. My daughter’s collage is a blank sheet of paper without even her name on it. My articles are a jumble of notes. My “novel” is less than 3000 words typed out because the characters started to change on me. It went from an adventure, to a romance, to a coming of age story. A ROMANCE?! Please make it stop! Trying to write what I know, and I know nothing of romance, so as I try to remove that stupid aspect of the story, I’m blocked because the characters want to have a romance and refuse to listen to reason!
I’m blocked. I need to find the controls to open the dam and let the words flow out into the various streams they need to be in. But with control, or I will end up a dry river bed without even a sensible clause to post.
Oh, the frustration of having too many words stuck in my head. I always thought “Writer’s Block” was when there were no words to write. I never knew it could be achieved by the need to say too much.