I did not CHOOSE to be a single mom. I CHOSE not to stay in an abusive relationship.
I’m a single mom because I chose not to stay in an abusive relationship. I chose not to raise my daughter in a home where she was not as important as my ex-husband’s girlfriend or her daughter. I chose not to raise my daughter to view marriage as an institution where a man can abuse his wife and she has to accept it because “love hurts.” I chose to get out of a toxic situation that was killing me and stunting my daughter before she was even born.
Before I became a single mother, I was an educated, career-oriented woman who had the GROUND suddenly and dramatically removed from beneath her feet after investing 15 years in a relationship. I am now an educated, working, single mother, focused on nurturing and raising my daughter to be a strong, self sufficient woman who will be able to reach for and achieve her dreams.
I am a single parent in a world of co-parents. I don’t have someone to watch my daughter while I run off to do something just for myself, or sneak in a nap or shower. I can not pass off my parental duties to another for a minute while I attend to nature. If my daughter gets sick, it is I who must care for her. If her school closes, it is I who must stay home, giving up valuable income. Often I hear, “Well, can’t your mother step in?” or “Don’t you have a friend nearby who can give you an afternoon?” Unfortunately, the answer is, no. Everyone’s lives are busy. Too busy to impose a toddler on even for an hour or two.
I am a single parent without a viable co-parent, nor a multitude of non-employed people in my network that are nearby. I’m not really complaining. I’ve accepted it as the way things will be for a time. And yes I know I’m not the only single parent without a network of readily available assistance.
I make no apologies for being a single parent. It is what I am. There is very little easy about being a single-parent. There are no single parent discounts nor employer benefits.
Some who lack understanding, may say I am a single parent by choice, but it was a choice based on the will to live and to be free and happy.